| Broken Pieces of me.. |
[26 Sep 2004|05:29pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
] |
Yes, It is me. I know that it has been forever and a day since I have updated, but in all honesty, its been that long since I have had access to a computer. However, my time away from the internet allowed for me the space I needed to figure out exactly what it was I needed in my life. I feel like where there was once an empty shell, it is now filled. It is odd to say that, to type these words out and see them before me on a screen. It is amazing how such feelings can occur out of the middle of nowhere, slapping you flat on your ass in a puddle in the rain, and make you laugh hysterically. That is how I feel now. Like a person sitting in a puddle in the middle of a rainstorm. Happy...
I wonder if any of you actually missed me, or if you just missed what I brought for you..Something to pass the time with..I see things that some of you try to hide and it makes me laugh because you think I am a big enough fool to fall for it. Nice try!
I have so much emotion in me lately. It is bursting to come out. I have been so emotional, often bursting into tears for no reason. It has been so long. I was used to being numb, used to bottling myself up and locking my feelings away. I wish I could remember the exact moment I felt emotion again. I think maybe when you first touched my hand during that movie. Was that emotion? It was a shock..maybe the shock of feeling alive again...I think it was that shock that woke me up.
I will add more to this as I see fit. I hope that soon I'll be able to get back online a bit more, as there are some of you that I do miss.
Yours Forever, Stacilia
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| Too fucking cute.. |
[24 Aug 2004|06:16pm] |
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mood |
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 mellow |
] |
That is the shit, btw. I was doodling with Tyler again lol...Hrm..anyways, I haven't updated this in a long long time. Maybe because I still think LJ sucks..I can't figure out a good layout..Any help? Someone give it a whirl.. I was wanting a theme based around my icon on here..*le sigh* My back hurts. I am tired and hungry and I have to pee *goes to pee* Okay, Nothing much in my life. I am working alot..oh joy eh?..If I am not on much, its because I am working...I need some friends to call me =/ <33333 Stacilia<33333
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| Miss me |
[06 Aug 2004|11:25am] |
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mood |
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 ditzy |
] |
Bye everyone. I'll try and come back as soon as I can..much love<3333
take nudies :D
<3 stacilia
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| Sifting through some old poetry... |
[04 Aug 2004|02:14pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
] |
I think at one time..I might have been emo x.x I found some old poetry back from my teenage years. It's quite awful and depressing stuff...Have a look:
She died so ungracefully
falling from her sanity
and also from the balcony.
The cold, rock hard cement
was as cold as her heart
had become.
And the tears on her face
froze,
like chips of ice.
She fell very far
six stories up
on her seventeenth birthday.
The dress she always wore
fluttered around her ankles
and her nail polish flaked away.
No thoughts of the future
and none of the past.
Just the chilly north wind
and the stars rushing
all around and..
Silence...
The black, black sky
Looking up from the cement
and sad icy eyes with
no feeling but pity,
for herself and for
what she had become..
Good God..=/ That was um...*checks* back in '00. Seems like alot longer than just four years ago. Now I remember why I stopped writing poetry. I suck at it. Best stick to erotica.
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| Yeah.... |
[03 Aug 2004|10:15am] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
] |
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone
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| Three Words.. |
[31 Jul 2004|11:11pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
] |
Oh...My....God..
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| If you love me...do it <3333 |
[30 Jul 2004|10:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 dorky |
] |
1.) Who are you?
2.) Are we friends?
3.) When and how did we meet?
4.) How have I affected you?
5.) What do you think of me?
6.) What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7.) How long do you think we will be friends?
8.) Do you love me?
9.) Do you have a crush on me?
10.) Would you kiss me?
11.) Would you hug me?
12.) Physically, what stands out?
13.) Emotionally, what stands out?
14.) Do you wish I was cooler?
15.) On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16.) Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17.) Am I lovable?
18.) How long have you known me?
19.) Describe me in one word.
20.) What was your first impression?
21.) Do you still think that way about me now?
22.) What do you think my weakness is?
23.) Do you think I'll get married?
24.) What makes me happy?
25.) What makes me sad?
26.) What reminds you of me?
27.) If you could give me anything what would it be?
28.) How well do you know me?
29.) When's the last time you saw me?
30.) Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31.) Do you think I could kill someone?
32.) Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33.) Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34.) Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
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| This is why he is my best friend.. |
[30 Jul 2004|04:54pm] |
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mood |
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crazy |
] |
Stacilia : 60 years from now..No matter what...I still want to be your best friend...
My Tyler : omg
My Tyler : I'm such a loser.
Stacilia : Why.
My Tyler : that made me smile..
---------------------------------------------------------------
Stacilia : I mean it..I want to be that old woman you call up to bitch about how your wife burned a hole in your favorite shirt..
Stacilia : *laughs*
Stacilia : and I'll say.Tyler...i still remember how much I loved you
Stacilia : and you'll laugh..
Stacilia : and your teeth will slip...and i'll say..get your fixodent
My Tyler : HAHAHAHAHA
My Tyler : LMFAO
Stacilia : <3333
Stacilia : im laughing so hard
Stacilia : can u see it?
Stacilia : us ?
Stacilia : doing that
Stacilia : me with my knitting..talking on the phone
Stacilia : in my rocking chair
--------------------------
My Tyler : I see something completely different.
My Tyler : I see..
My Tyler : you and me
My Tyler : in the messiest room known to man
My Tyler : waking up at noon because it's a saturday
My Tyler : and just laying there
My Tyler : morning breath and all
My Tyler : and suddenly
My Tyler : hahahaha
My Tyler : and in comes the dog
My Tyler : and taquito
My Tyler : and his little sister
My Tyler : yelling and screaming
My Tyler : "THE CAT HAD KITTENS MOMMY!!"
My Tyler : and in struts the cat
My Tyler : "yeah, she had kittens"
My Tyler : then we would go make breakfast
My Tyler : something cheesy
My Tyler : waffles or something
Stacilia : I'd make you mickey mouse shaped pancakes
Stacilia : and straighten your tie before work
Stacilia : we'd be..like the Leave it to beaver family
My Tyler : except with a lot of sex
My Tyler : and no fence
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| I just found this in my filing cabinet.. |
[28 Jul 2004|12:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
I used to start stories but never finish them..I found this one filed away under Murder <--yeah I'm a freaking geek I keep my stuff in folders, alphabetically x.x
It's only a few paragraphs lol..Not my best work..
He never saw it coming. Not once did it ever enter his measly little brain, strike a bell in his head, or set off warning bells to open his dull eyes. He was completely unaware. That’s what made it so self satisfying for her to kill him. She had planned on the surprise. Tasted it. Wanted it. She wanted to lick his blood from her fingers and stand over his corpse, gloating at his blindness to her rage. It wasn’t something that she’d always longed to do. One day it was simply there, feasting on her insides, festering in her mind. She’d squinted to it at first, like one does to the overly bright sun. Surely this wasn’t inside her, this unmarred feeling of contempt and hate fueled by one man. People are not born to kill, a voice inside her head reassured her. They are made that way.
The more she thought about it, the more it appealed to her. She wanted to hurt him the way he’d hurt her, make him suffer as she has suffered in her humility. Most of all, she wanted him to know the meaning of fear, to see it in his eyes when he realized she would end his existence. She longed for that, that realization that she would take no more. She wouldn’t stand by and let him ridicule her any longer. It was then that she knew she’d be free. No matter what happened to her afterwards, she’d won.
This wasn’t something to be hurried along. It had to be perfect. In this alone, she would strive for perfection.
Thats all..Yeah I never finish crap..I have dozens of first pages. *sigh* I have alot of anger it seems lol..
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| Giggly... |
[27 Jul 2004|09:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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creative |
] |
I'm giggly like a little school girl. Its wierd..I woke up in the best of moods today. Despite things, I feel pretty good. I'm sitting here letting things run through my mind..its been a goofy day for me..gummi bears, skittles, beatles songs, good friends, good love, all in all..a good day. very good day...Its nice to look out the window and see the rain..It makes me smirk..I smirk alot lately..I think I might be over my depression..Things are looking up for me in some ways, but crushing me in others I've been smiling through my tears..well...anyways...I miss baz..our late night yahoo chats..:( I hope he's having fun :D Doing cooler things than I am lol..FB seems to be getting new features..yay for me..I'm such a dork to spend so much time there..but what else can you do? Um..I'll probably edit this later on..so check back ;P
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| Bah |
[26 Jul 2004|12:47pm] |
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This is my first entry..I am convinced that LJ sucks..I can't create my own style unless I pay..bah..
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stitchmywrists's journal
contemplative
